Disturbing Lack of Zucchini at the Oscars
I admit it, I watched most of the Academy Awards last night. Sure, Martin Scorsese this and Al Gore that and blah Babel blah. Obviously, like most of you, I was watching to see if any zucchini-themed films were going to be winners. 2006 was a real watershed year for zucchini in movies, and I was hoping to see some recognition from the Academy.
But I was violently disappointed. Violently.
Not only was there not a single zucchini-themed winner, there wasn’t even a single zucchini-themed nomination! What kind of outright prejudice and bigotry is this? I thought Hollywood was supposed to be an open-minded culture, accepting of all kinds of fruits and vegetables. To see that zucchini movies were so harshly spurned made me cry all night.
I can barely even function at work today, I’m so distraught over this whole Oscars mess. I had an extra serving of zucchini for breakfast, which helped to get me on my feet and get me through the day so far, but it hasn’t been easy.
Tell me, Hollywood, what will it take to break down this glass ceiling and allow zucchini-oriented movies to finally be given the recognition they deserve? How long can you continue to pretend that they don’t exist? Eventually the zucchini lovers in America will be fed up with your lies of rejection. We can’t be ignored forever!
Bring on the zucchinis!