Zucchini Land

One of the downsides to being such an adamant supporter of zucchinis and their miraculous powers is that people tend to assume that I’m part of some evil secret organization that wants to replace all of the world’s leaders with zucchini.

I’d like to take this opportunity to emphatically deny that allegation. Sure, zucchini would probably be able to lead a country better than most human heads of state, but I want to see that change come about naturally through democratic processes, not through undermining of our elections or anything like that.

Obviously in some countries without George W. Bush’s great gift of democracy, military force may need to be used to place zucchinis into power. This is just the nature of government, and can’t be avoided.

But then some people see giant zucchini driving around in a car and start assuming that they’re already taking over the world. While I don’t know every single thing that goes on with zucchini, I can state with complete honesty that I don’t know of any plans to begin a world domination plot that this time.

My assumption is that gigantic zucchini and their gigantic cars are just a natural evolution thanks to the wonders of nature, and not a byproduct of evil genius zucchini scientists or anything like that.

Please take this writing to be the truth. Believe it with every piece of zucchini that you might have lodged in your brain. Do not confuse a normal zucchini with a human child, for that will only anger the zucchini gods who might rain daggers down upon your kitchen.

Thank you for changing your beliefs on this matter. Zucchini is here on this planet to help us, do not anger them.