Zucchini Land

Some people said I was crazy to put zucchini in chocolate chip cookies. But then other people have said that bacon chocolate chip cookies were crazy, and evidence has shown that they’re clearly delicious.

So let’s move on to zucchini and bacon in our chocolate chip cookies. The result? As expected, yummy and brain-enhancing. Before I ate them I couldn’t remember a single bit of calculus from high school, and now I’m integrating and derivating left and right. You can’t stop my zucchini-powered calculus!

I think this single result speaks for itself. This is a brilliant bit of dessert that everyone should bake up for Christmas. If you do, please invite me to your Christmas dinner. I will show up and devour your cookies with all of my might (which, by the way, is incredibly mighty.)

Happy eatings!

I’ve always been a big supporter of zucchini cake, even if I can’t find any mention of it on this site to date. I’m sure that’s simply the anti-zucchini lobby invading my web site and removing posts that they feel would rock the world too greatly. Have you noticed the sudden lack of any evidence of zucchini discussion on here over the last few months? Suspicious, right? That’s what I thought.

Luckily for us zucchini supporters, the news is already spreading. It may already be too late for the government and the reset of the anti-zucchini groups to interfere. Take this post for example, all about zucchini cake. I think they managed to keep the post on the Internet (for over a month so far) by claiming that they didn’t like the cake:

I wish I could tell you that I loved this cake. Quite simply, I didn’t care for it. That being said, I should also make a point that Quinn really, really liked it. We decided that our difference of opinion could be chalked up to the heavy citrus flavor. He’s a much bigger fan of lime, lemon, orange, etc. than I ever thought about being.

As I said, this cake is indeed lovely. It is not my intention to dissuade you from making it. If you like strong citrus flavors, then dive in and make it. As for me, I think I’ll stick with some of my tried and true favorites… like chocolate.

Notice the mixed messages. It’s lovely, one person liked it, one person didn’t. I think that might be the way to trick The Bad People into leaving pro-zucchini posts around; make them look not so intensely pro-zucchini that it freaks out the rest of the country.

Now, personally, I can’t go along with that. I can’t pretend to be indifferent about zucchini. Not only does it violate my moral principles, but the anti-zucchini forces know me too well to fall for that. They’ll see through my zucchini-indifferent disguise in a second.

But for the rest of you, anonymously reading this site through Tor and hidden proxy servers all over the world so as to disguise your identities and your pro-zucchini leanings, this is a tactic you can take. Obviously you need to take all precautions possible to avoid letting anyone find out how you really feel, so any posts like these need to be written extremely carefully. Consider outsourcing your post writing to India to give an extra layer of protection.

Be safe, and be full of zucchini!