How the Perfect Halloween Treat Will Change My Life
I figured out how to be the most popular house this Halloween. It was so obvious, I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner. I’ll give out zucchini muffins instead of candy!
The kids will love it, because one bite of a zuchini muffin will turn them into the coolest kids in the city, able to leap tall buildings simply by using their zucchini-powered feet. The glorious taste of the zucchini muffin will also reveal to them how vile and impure their old favorites, chocolate and candy and sweets, really are. Once they see the light — the zucchini-flavored light — they will be on a spiritually pure journey to total enlightenment through zucchini.
Their parents will love it, because what parent doesn’t wish that their kid ate less sugar and more zucchini? I’ll be given endless gifts of personal jets, yachts, and diamon-encrusted lawnmowers from the rich parents who are thrilled beyond words — and straight to gift-giving — by the zucchini-inspired changes I’ll have made to their kids.
Yes, I will truly be the greatest person in the history of history for this Halloween treat. You should all get on my good side now so that you can say that you knew me back before I became the King of Zucchini Muffins and the richest man in the universe.