Zucchini Land

I’ve had a flood of e-mails, phone calls, and interview requests from inquisitive journalists wanting to know more about the deathly silence that had befallen Zucchini Land over the past two months. I have to say, I’m amazed that there are so many millions of die-hard fans who were so eager to find out where we went. I assume it’s only a matter of weeks before Alexa and all of the other Internet popularity contest sites realize that they’ve been missing out on us and all of our hyper-obsessive armies of readers, and immediately update their listings to reflect that we are, indeed, the most popular site in the galaxy.

But until then, let me address our absence.

It turns out that March and April are just bad months for Zucchini. You can grow zucchini during these months, of course, but March zucchini and April zucchini lack that powerful ingredient that allows zucchini to be used to build bridges, travel through space, increase your IQ, and just generally improve every single aspect of your life. During March and April it temporarily reverts to just a regular old piece of food. Yes, it’s still the most delicious thing you could eat, but its other powers are temporarily reduced.

That’s not to say there aren’t advantages to eating it. But without those special advantages that it loses, I find myself without the brainpower to even operate a computer, let alone manage to handcraft these intricate web posts for your reading pleasure. I was essentially just lying on the floor of my bedroom, drooling on the cat and desperately waiting for the reinvigorating and restorative power of May zucchini.

And now it is May, and the May zucchini have arrived for my eating pleasure. Which naturally leads to you all getting reading pleasure out of my writing pleasure due to my newfound zucchini-induced brainpower. Hooray for zucchini!