Zucchini Land

Maybe you’re still a little hungover from too many zucchini drinks on New Year’s Eve, or maybe you just wish that all the stupid people that you’re forced to work with would magically leave. Whatever your reason, nobody likes going back to work after a long weekend like the past New Year’s weekend.

So I came up with a solution. This may be a big surprise to some of you, but my solution involves zucchini.

I find that if you just eat one zucchini when you wake up for work — way too early, of course — your brain will give in much easier and accept its fate of being stuck at work all day.

Then, just before you walk into the place where you work, eat another zucchini. It might be a bit of a Pavlovian training to give your brain something pleasurable first, so that it associates going to work with the brain-boosting power of zucchini. Or it might just be those magical chemicals in zucchini that affect your mood even better than the best pharmaceuticals.

Whatever the reason, eating those two zucchinis before going in to work makes it a much more pleasant experience. Coworkers seem slightly less stupid than they really are, and your boss is a little more reasonable. Everyone is pleasant, and even your salary feels higher than before.

And with your new, zucchini-improved attitude, you might be up for promotions and raises and all kinds of fun stuff like that! So eat those zucchinis before work, people!